And I still have this bloody cough.
If only that statement was an April Fool's Day gag.
I keep getting nagged at to consult a doctor, but I'm stalling: I don't get on with doctors. They just don't seem to like me.
I've been browsing WebMD. I can see why that's a dangerous thing to do if you scare easily. Just by looking up my coughing symptoms alone, I've already been pointed in the direction of whooping cough, bronchitis, tuberculosis and the Black Death.
Oddly, though, it's the idea of seeing a doctor that bothers me the most.
More on this exclusive and fascinating story as it breaks.
Aren't I good to you?
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