Saturday 7 April 2007

The Curious Case Of The Elusive Easter Eggs

Where the hell are all the Easter Eggs?

I was promised last-minute Easter Eggs today, but nobody seems to be selling them anymore. The sole exception is our local Somerfield, who have row upon row of Creme Egg Minis ones. But I'm not falling into that trap again.

I guess it doesn't help that supermarkets start selling Easter food in January (in fact, if I didn't know better, I'd guess that the eggs actually lie in ambush on the shelves behind the Christmas chocolate) – you could hardly expect all of the shops to remain fully stocked right up to Easter weekend when they start so bloomin' early – but, even so, I'm still a little surprised by this.

Whatever is going on?

Has there been a grand heist about which elaborate and exaggerated stories of intrigue and skulduggery will be passed down to future generations for centuries to come?

"Come sit on yer old Grandad's knee and let me tell you all about the time that they tried to steal Easter…"

Are we living in times of a national Easter Egg shortage? And, if so, does that mean that there'll be a ban in the summer?

Is it a conspiracy? Everyone loves a conspiracy. Is there an embargo because I've been moaning about my meagre Creme Egg Minis ration? Perhaps they're all out to get me. Maybe the stores have all got plenty of Easter Eggs left in stock, but they've set up special revolving shelves just for whenever I walk in. Everybody else gets to go in and browse a veritable cornucopia of seasonal chocolatey goodies, and all I get to choose from is some toothpaste, a few biscuits and some fleece blankets?

Any other ideas or, indeed, answers? I'd be interested to hear them.


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