It's quite impressive, I know, but I managed to trap myself in the corner of my bedroom today.
As some of you know, I've been moving house this weekend, and most of my stuff is packed up in cardboard boxes – and I have no hope of being able to unpack many of them until certain items of furniture have been delivered.
So, the boxes were transported and piled into my new room, and I could barely move for them. And I needed to swap the bed and the chest of drawers over (that is, the chest of drawers that was – quite typically – in the very far corner).
I do realise, of course, that I should have done this before the boxes arrived. I am not a complete fool.
Using very little skill and only the brute strength that comes about after a long bout of intense frustration, I got beside the chest of drawers and managed to shuffle the bed towards me just enough for me to flip the heavy mattress off the other side. The plan was that I would move the (now considerably lighter) bed as far as I could while the chest of drawers was still in the way, and then slowly shuffle the boxes round into the newly created space, one by one, – kind of like a giant version of those sliding puzzles you can get – and with the chest of drawers following last of all, leaving the space required for the bed to move the rest of the way across the room.
Unfortunately, what I didn't realise is that the slats on the bed are too close together for me to step between, and not stable enough for me to stand on; so, once the mattress had been removed, I couldn't get back over the bed.
I only said that I am not a complete fool.
I thought it was going to turn into one of those stories you see in magazines, where people tell of how they didn't realise somebody was missing for a whole two weeks. They just figured that they'd been really, really busy. Or they'd gone away. Or something.
Until one day they noticed "a strange smell".
That didn't happen, though – just in case you're wondering. I'm still very much alive and well. Albeit covered in bruises.
I made the choice instead to clamber over the boxes and hope that I didn't break anything. It was tough call, as I'm sure you can understand, but I stand by my decision.
