Thursday, 15 October 2009

An Important Milestone Indeed

I am aware that Hasbro — a manufacturer of many fine children's games and toys, in my opinion — have a gimmick involving making simplified versions of some of their classic games, in order (I presume) to make them more accessible for younger children.

The simple clue to the identify of these games, is the addition of the words My and First at the beginning of the title.

Fair enough.

I am left wondering, however, just how much they thought this approach through when they came up with this:

My First Operation game
My First Operation: lucky, lucky me.

Wednesday, 14 October 2009

Which Came First, The Chicken Or Four-Legged Chicken/Dinosaur Thing?

Any idea what this is?

ELC's Nuts and Bolts Builder
Kinda like a chicken, but with two many legs. And not nearly enough wings.

It looks great, but I have no clue as to what the model is meant to actually be.

It's like some sort of prehistoric chicken.


Tuesday, 13 October 2009

Bad Dream, I Hope

I dreamed last night that a huge spider crawled into bed with me, wanting to snuggle.

I woke up worrying about what had prompted me to dream that.


Monday, 12 October 2009

Something Fishy

I watched a TV show about monster fish this evening.

I have decided that I would not want to meet a goliath tigerfish up a dark alley.

Unless it was a particularly dry alley and the fish had been there for quite some time.


Sunday, 11 October 2009

Childsplay

According to the sales blurb on websites selling Hedbanz, the game is the 'classic' one of What's On My Head?

Hedbanz for kids
Yes, just what, indeed, is on my head?

I'm pretty sure that I am aware of the game they're trying to describe here, but — although, maybe it's just me who thinks this — I do think they could have articulated it in a slightly more specific and somewhat less disturbing manner.


Saturday, 10 October 2009

Poor Sod

According to something I read, somebody in the UK has a heart attack every two minutes.

That's one hell of an unlucky bastard.


Friday, 9 October 2009

Brutally Honest Advertising?

Am I the only one who finds it deeply disturbing to drive through town and see a sign over a shop that says Family Butcher?

That doesn't strike me as the sort of thing you'd want to advertise.

Unless, I suppose, you're planning the classic double bluff when the police come sniffing around, quizzing you about missing families.


Tuesday, 3 February 2009

Incredible

This.


Tuesday, 2 December 2008

Second Anniversary Post

An advert has just come on the television for an air-freshener that, apparently, detects movements.

I wish somebody would put one of those in the toilets where I work. There always seem to be plenty of 'movements' in there which would warrant its use.


Thursday, 26 June 2008

Sporadic Post Shocker!

Who knows? This may even be the start of something.

I doubt it, mind.

To be honest, I'm just feeling far too wasted to do anything clever right now, and — since I'm home alone — I thought I'd be a bit pathetic and indulge you all in some more of my irreverent drivel.

Being the nice, generous and generally wonderful person that I am, I have just returned home after putting myself out of my way for a couple of hours and allowing people to practice Swedish massage on me.

This is, obviously, a great thing.

Not so great, however, is the fact that — due to being subjected to three different massages — I am now covered in not only massage oil, but also massage cream and talc as well.

I'm now concerned about letting the house get too warm, for fear I end up the filling in some sort of strange massage media pancake.


Tuesday, 6 May 2008

Yeah Yeah

Too busy, sorry. And have been for a fair while now.

I'll be back when I've got more free time than sense again.

In the meantime, might I recommend that you read a book or watch a movie? Or — dare I say it — try getting out more? I understand there they have such wonderful things as grass and squirrels and caribou in the great outdoors. Why not go and see what sorts of exciting adventures they're having?

And — who knows — if you take some Post-it* notes, you could even post a comment or two.

* Other brands of re-positional notes are available.


Sunday, 17 June 2007

Gah!

There are men outside destroying the road.

I wouldn't mind so much if either:

a) the men were something special to look at
or
b) I could get my car out of the drive
but, sadly, I am both housebound today and without any eye-candy.

Woe is me.



Friday, 15 June 2007

Shhh!

I did something top secret today. I'd tell you what it was, but – obviously – I can't because it's top secret, and it would be a pretty crappy secret if I went around telling everybody what it was in some sort of willy-nilly fashion.



I also got to meet my friends' non-Antichrist baby today.

I am, apparently, comfortable to sleep on. Either that, or I am incredibly boring.



Tosh

I've got very little to say for myself today other than that I've recently been spending the arse-end of my evenings on YouTube and am currently particularly amused by the Dead Ringers take on Torchwood.

I'm glad I'm not the only one who thought those things about the Doctor Who spin-off.



Wednesday, 13 June 2007

And About Time Too

*performs celebratory I Have Joined Another Gym dance*

Mind you, it's going to have to be a bloody good gym to make up for the horror and indignity of the passport photo I had to provide for my membership card. I look like something out of Prisoner: Cell Block H.

And, no, my photo will not be posted on this blog and is not available upon request – so, don't even try it.



Tuesday, 12 June 2007

It's A Nice Day For Some White Washing

It is utterley imperative that I remember to put some white washing in tomorrow.

Do not let me forget!



Costume Design By A.N. Idiot

Yes, whenever I'm starring in a horror movie, and I'm planning to prowl around at night and hunt potential murderers – who may, in fact, be after me next – I like nothing better than to wear tight, bright red leather trousers and massive dangly jewellery.

It's a great way, I find, to both remain inconspicuous in the dark, and maintain maximum agility and flexibility.



Sunday, 10 June 2007

Refuse Collection

As I was leaving work the other day, I saw something that I thought was interesting.

Somebody had placed a box of stuff on their desk and labelled it with a large sign that read:

RUBBISH
PLEASE TAKE AWAY

What a brilliant idea!

If it works, I can think of one or two colleagues I'd like to stick that sign on.



Monsters And/Or Lunatics

I've just heard a mysterious and creepy bang from somewhere inside my room.

I hope it's not a sign of monsters and/or lunatics. Other than the ferrets, that is. Who are both.

Well, if I'm still alive in the morning, then I guess it was nothing to worry about.



Friday, 8 June 2007

Novelty Dog Shows vs Trading Standards

I saw a sign today as I was driving:

Novelty Dog Show

So, what's a novelty dog? Is it one that's had its fur painted up like the Mystery Machine from Scooby Doo? Or one that has six legs?

Because, frankly, I'd fail to see the novelty in anything much less.

Or is it the show itself that's supposed the novelty? Do the dogs all come in via parachute? Or, perhaps, they are each graded on their ability to play the flute and/or create a Baked Alaska and not on their good posture and voluminous coat? Or are there actually no dogs at all? That would also be quite novel.