Something Fishy

I watched a TV show about monster fish this evening.

I have decided that I would not want to meet a goliath tigerfish up a dark alley.

Unless it was a particularly dry alley and the fish had been there for quite some time.

---

Previous / Next

Monsters And/Or Lunatics

I've just heard a mysterious and creepy bang from somewhere inside my room.

I hope it's not a sign of monsters and/or lunatics. Other than the ferrets, that is. Who are both.

Well, if I'm still alive in the morning, then I guess it was nothing to worry about.

---

Previous / Next

Potatoes

Don't ask me why or how, but today there are potatoes in the toaster.

Now I've heard many tales through the years about strange things happening in the night – things like brownies doing housework and elves cobbling shoes.

How come all I get is the Tuber Fairy and something that steals my socks?

---

Previous / Next

Poetry Time [No. 2]

Obsessive Compulsive Christmas Tree Decoration

You're all green and pointy
And taller than me,
Sounding more like a thing of bad dreams
Than a nice Christmas tree.
That said, it's surprising
I don't have nightmares
About baubles of the same colour
Hanging on you in pairs,
Because that drives me nuts
I really should say.
In fact, I'd prefer the monster dreams
Then I could run away.
Like in that one I had
With Godzilla where
He chased me down the local High Street
And I hid in the Chemist's.

More smashing poetry

---

Previous / Next