Dear Santa,
For Christmas this year, I would like you to bring everybody in the world some spatial awareness and a sense of their surroundings. That way, when I next go shopping – whether for Christmas or just for a general shop – I won't almost walk into the back of someone who's stopped right in front of me for NO APPARENT REASON, nor trip over somebody else's ankles because they have suddenly careened drunkenly in front of me without the slightest bit of warning.
Failing that, could you please fit everybody with an onboard computer that wires directly into their brain and operates personal brake and indicator lights before any such manoeuvre is carried out? Onboard computers are all the rage these days, you know; even toothbrushes have them.
Lots of love,
The Zinc Stoat
Saturday, 9 December 2006
A Trip To The County Town
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