Kinder Surprise Watch

Not dreadfully exciting, but they're currently on offer in my local supermarket, so I felt the need to splurge.

Today's yield consists of a pink Cadillac, a mustard yellow sports car, a glorified colouring crayon in a hat (disappointingly, my second of these) and a boss-eyed, yet satisfyingly furry, lilac-coloured monkey chap.

Part of me is certain that toys made more sense back in my day, but I'm probably wrong.

Alarmingly, on second inspection the monkey looks a bit like Robbie Williams in a purple chimp suit.

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And Not A Bad Child Actor In Sight

I don't know if it's just a strange effect of the lurgy, but I keep getting cravings for Kinder Surprises – well, not actually Kinder Surprises themselves, but that particular creamy sort of Kinder chocolate.

Frankly, I could do without the Surprise part, as I now have a mounting collection of crappy little plastic toys.

Although I do have one good one, which I'm quite smug about.

It's a little bulgy-eyed guy in a turban meditating on a magic carpet which, through the skillful use of magnets, levitates.

Admittedly, he does boff his head against the top of his little plastic case every time he levitates – which can't do much for his meditation.

But I don't care about that because he can levitate.

And that makes me chuckle, which is all that matters.

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